Has anyone prevented pregnancy for years using Natural Family Planning?
Nov 15, 2008 | natural pregnancyHello, As a Catholic, I am looking into Natural Family Planning for someday when I’m married. However, I’m not sure that I trust it to prevent pregnancy since I have read conflicting reports on this method of birth control. Has anyone actually had success with postponing pregnancy for at least 3 years using this method? Has anyone had this method fail even though you were doing everything right?
Any answers with personal experience with this method will be most appreciated. Thank you.
Hi,
I have been using NFP on and off for 10+ years and my husband & I have taught NFP for over 7 years. It is a shame that people don’t know more about NFP because it is very effective. But people have such a knee-jerk reaction to NFP for a number of reasons. The first is that they equate modern NFP to the old rhythm method - “Oh my grandma had 12 kids so it doesn’t work.” Modern NFP is so different from the rhythm method, yet that perception still exists.
Then they see NFP families and yes, NFP couples tend to have more children. However, is that because NFP doesn’t work? Not usually. In most cases, NFP families are more open to children than those who chronically use contraception. So yes, they have 5 kids, but if you talk to them about their 5 kids, you find out that they know exactly when each child was conceived and how they knew they were in their fertile period and knew they could get pregnant.
Our own personal experience is that we used NFP to postpone for the first 2 years of our marriage, though some very challenging situations. We then used NFP to help diagnose a medical disorder that would go on to give me infertility issues. Thanks to NFP I was able to conceive twice during cycles where, if I hadn’t been using NFP, I never would have known to keep trying because I ovulated so late in my cycle.
If it makes you feel any better, one of the first couples we ever taught used NFP successfully for over 5 years before they decided to try for their first child. A college friend and his wife have been using it for their whole marriage, 3+ years now. Our other local teaching couple used it to plan their 6 kids and to postpone for 3 years since their last child was born. I could go on and on.
Most couples who have a “surprise” pregnancy with NFP do so because they try to have sex too late in the early part of their cycle. With NFP, as soon as you see any type cervical mucus you are automatically in the fertile part of your cycle. But some of those “surprise” pregnancies were because a couple took a chance after seeing that they were entering the fertile part of the cycle. So they weren’t really surprises… I don’t see many people who do everything right and get pregnant. I have seen a few non-planned pregnancy charts and in each case the couple broke a rule somehow; sometimes knowingly sometimes by forgetting.
So the key to effective NFP is to take a class and learn the method well. Start charting for months before the wedding day so that you can feel confident in the method. Stay in contact with your teacher and follow-up to make sure you are interpreting correctly. After a few months of charts, you should have enough confidence to use the method very effectively. There are also some extra conservative rules that you can use if you are nervous. For example, you can add a day to the rules so instead of waiting for 3 days of cervical mucus dry-up, you can add a day and make it 4 days of dry-up. Same with the temperature sign.
You can also set up a cut-off in the early part of your cycle so that you aren’t having sex too close to ovulation. Instead of using the last dry day rule, I know a few couples who just said - we’re going to stop having sex on day 9 even if still dry. You are probably being way more conservative than you have to be, but if you have a serious reason to postpone and feel uneasy about the risk, this is one way that you build in even more security.
The key to effective NFP is understanding the science behind it. If you look in some of my other answers, you can read some of the explanation behind that; since it sounds like you are already pretty knowledgeable I won’t repeat that here.
I hope this helps. Keep in mind also that some of the “conflicting reports” on NFP are sometimes studies paid for by condom companies, pharmaceuticals, and Planned Parenthood. They aren’t exactly objective. There are plenty of scientific studies by the World Health Organization, medical journals, etc to feel confident in the effectiveness of this method. Good luck!!
November 12th, 2008 at 11:34 am
It worked for me and my husband for 10 months. Baby #3 is due in May.
References :
November 12th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Sure this is as effective as the pull out method…
my nana and grandpa practiced it, and they were married 57 years, and only had 6 kids do the math,,, them aint bad odds
granted they had 2 sets of irish twins… hahaha o well at least icould make you smile.
References :
November 12th, 2008 at 11:39 am
To be honest, when I look through the album of all my fellow Catholic church members, I see quite a few families with 5+ children. I can’t say with any certainty though that there is any correlation.
References :
November 12th, 2008 at 11:45 am
If you do a Google search for "Natural Family Planning" you will come up with a ton of hits.
NFP is 99% effective–fact. By working WITH nature rather than against it, the couple respects one another, sexuality in general, and God's plan.
However, there's a really enormous misconception among Catholics about NFP. NFP isn't meant to be used as long-term birth control; any mentality or behavior that is contraceptive goes against the culture of life and is definitely not Catholic at all. NFP is meant to be used when necessary, not as a "substitute" for condoms, the pill, etc. If you use NFP with the intention of deliberately avoiding children for a reason that is not serious, you are contracepting and that goes against the spirit of life encouraged by the Church.
The whole point of marriage is to share love with your spouse and bring children into the world. When they marry, the two spouses give their bodies up to one another and to God for these purposes, making themselves available to His creative power. That is why the Church is SO very pro-life and will not allow the use of contraceptives. Using birth control is a way of lying to your spouse, saying, "You can have all of me–but not this much." Love-giving has to be total, free, faithful, fruitful, full. Non-Catholics and many Catholics believe the Church's stance on birth control is a matter of domination, and nothing could be more untrue; it is out of respect for sexuality, children and marriage.
Children are meant to be sought after and welcomed in a Catholic household, and although it may be necessary at times to space children or limit the number, this has to be carefully considered each and every month when using NFP, preferably with the help of a confessor. Even when a couple does use NFP, they must be open to new life should conception occur anyway and treat each child as a gift and a blessing.
Remember that, conversely, NFP is also great FOR conceiving children!
*I am talking to this person as a practicing Catholic, so if non-Catholics or Catholics who are not practicing according to the teachings of the Church have a problem with this, better take it up with Rome!*
References :
37 wks w/ #1
November 12th, 2008 at 11:48 am
It worked for my friend for 5 yrs. It stopped working not because it failed, but because they decided to have another child. One thing you must not do is get overconfident and go too close to the fertile days. They got lazy after the second child and now they have 4. LOL They know they weren’t following the rules properly when they got pregnant for #3 and #4.
References :
November 12th, 2008 at 11:48 am
Aren’t Catholic families the ones that always have a bunch of kids?
I was just reading about NFP…Kudos to you if you can do that but it sounds like a heck of a lot of trouble and I wouldn’t like to have to plan sex with my husband everytime based on my “fertile time” and checking my cervical mucous. There are many things that can change cervical mucous and body temps besides fertility. Plus I def. would not like having to keep from having sex during my peak desire for sex. LOL!! But hey if it works for you guys…..
BTW..I am not on any birth control. (I don’t agree with the way the work. Making the lining of the uterus so thick that if you did conceive a baby, it would not be able to attach itself to the uterine wall and just die.) We were only using the pull out method. I got pregnant with this baby 2 days before my period started..so nature isn’t always perfect and you don’t always ovulate at the “normal” time every month.
References :
November 12th, 2008 at 11:50 am
I got off b/c for one year before we started to try for a baby (I wanted them completely out of my system). I used a free website to calculate my fertile days called yourdays.com. On our non-fertile days we used the “pull-out” method, and on our fertile days we used condoms. It def. worked for us!
References :
12w4d pg w/ baby #1
November 13th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Hi,
I have been using NFP on and off for 10+ years and my husband & I have taught NFP for over 7 years. It is a shame that people don’t know more about NFP because it is very effective. But people have such a knee-jerk reaction to NFP for a number of reasons. The first is that they equate modern NFP to the old rhythm method - “Oh my grandma had 12 kids so it doesn’t work.” Modern NFP is so different from the rhythm method, yet that perception still exists.
Then they see NFP families and yes, NFP couples tend to have more children. However, is that because NFP doesn’t work? Not usually. In most cases, NFP families are more open to children than those who chronically use contraception. So yes, they have 5 kids, but if you talk to them about their 5 kids, you find out that they know exactly when each child was conceived and how they knew they were in their fertile period and knew they could get pregnant.
Our own personal experience is that we used NFP to postpone for the first 2 years of our marriage, though some very challenging situations. We then used NFP to help diagnose a medical disorder that would go on to give me infertility issues. Thanks to NFP I was able to conceive twice during cycles where, if I hadn’t been using NFP, I never would have known to keep trying because I ovulated so late in my cycle.
If it makes you feel any better, one of the first couples we ever taught used NFP successfully for over 5 years before they decided to try for their first child. A college friend and his wife have been using it for their whole marriage, 3+ years now. Our other local teaching couple used it to plan their 6 kids and to postpone for 3 years since their last child was born. I could go on and on.
Most couples who have a “surprise” pregnancy with NFP do so because they try to have sex too late in the early part of their cycle. With NFP, as soon as you see any type cervical mucus you are automatically in the fertile part of your cycle. But some of those “surprise” pregnancies were because a couple took a chance after seeing that they were entering the fertile part of the cycle. So they weren’t really surprises… I don’t see many people who do everything right and get pregnant. I have seen a few non-planned pregnancy charts and in each case the couple broke a rule somehow; sometimes knowingly sometimes by forgetting.
So the key to effective NFP is to take a class and learn the method well. Start charting for months before the wedding day so that you can feel confident in the method. Stay in contact with your teacher and follow-up to make sure you are interpreting correctly. After a few months of charts, you should have enough confidence to use the method very effectively. There are also some extra conservative rules that you can use if you are nervous. For example, you can add a day to the rules so instead of waiting for 3 days of cervical mucus dry-up, you can add a day and make it 4 days of dry-up. Same with the temperature sign.
You can also set up a cut-off in the early part of your cycle so that you aren’t having sex too close to ovulation. Instead of using the last dry day rule, I know a few couples who just said - we’re going to stop having sex on day 9 even if still dry. You are probably being way more conservative than you have to be, but if you have a serious reason to postpone and feel uneasy about the risk, this is one way that you build in even more security.
The key to effective NFP is understanding the science behind it. If you look in some of my other answers, you can read some of the explanation behind that; since it sounds like you are already pretty knowledgeable I won’t repeat that here.
I hope this helps. Keep in mind also that some of the “conflicting reports” on NFP are sometimes studies paid for by condom companies, pharmaceuticals, and Planned Parenthood. They aren’t exactly objective. There are plenty of scientific studies by the World Health Organization, medical journals, etc to feel confident in the effectiveness of this method. Good luck!!
References :
NFP user, 10+ years
NFP teacher, 7 years